Ask the Rakish Man: Rapier Wit

Hello everyone, and welcome to The Rakish Man. My name is Léon Philippe and I am here with all the right responses to your sartorial queries. I’ve poured my first glass of Grand Marnier, so let’s get started.

Ed. note: This question is taken from the comment section of last month’s column:

Who writes this tripe? Are they not embarrassed?

-Nepotist

Dear Nepotist,

Thank you for your query. I sense dis stain in your tone. A reference to something British and pretentious word order does not a posh riposte make. You tosser. I know your type. Perhaps you think you have cut me with your rapier wit. But I will have you know, sir, that no wit is rapier than mine. En garde! 

Your moniker arouses my indignation. I come from a long line of nepotists. I know nepotists. You, sir, are no nepotist. Any nepotist worthy of the name is capable of raising his legatee to a political office, a military commission, or, as an absolute bare minimum, a professorship at an Italian university.

What favors is your tribe of Internet commenters able to bestow? Tell me, Nepotist, which of your spawn have you advanced in the venerable trade of Internet commenting? To what great heights? Perhaps you elevated some inbred cousin to the title of Styleforum Underwear Expert:

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I am of old stock, but I have never used my family’s name to professional advantage. I have made it on my own, with nothing but a small allowance and an expensive private school education to assist me. That’s just who I am, Nepotist.

And I’ve done it the old fashioned way - by doing work that no one else wanted to do. It’s not easy educating the masses on the vagaries of fashion, style, and elegance, Nepotist. But I am not embarrassed to claim this as my lot in life. On the contrary, it is a task that I shoulder with Herculean pride. Have you no pride, Nepotist?

By the by, if you could help me get my Twitter account unlocked I would be much obliged. I was blocked a couple of months ago for my overly vociferous protestations against Hanes’s return policy. Thanks in advance.

-LP

Ed. note: If you have a query for The Rakish Man, please send an email to david at nomanwalksalone  dot com and I will make sure he sees it.  

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